Saint Sybil
Dear St. Sybil,
What’s this about Women’s History Month? Why isn’t there a Men’s history month as well? Let’s be fair here!
Heatedly,
Jerry Atrick
Dear Jerry,
You will be pleased to hear that Congress has finally relented and has declared July as Men’s History Month. To those who care and take note of these things, July is a 31-day month — three days more than Black History Month! Go Men! — and it is the month before — i.e., “ahead of” — Women’s History Month. Go Men!
July was chosen for Men’s History Month because — er — no reason really, but possibly something about the Fourth of July (fireworks as ejaculation metaphor) or even July 14, Bastille Day, - but probably not, too reminiscent of Madame LaFarge and Lorena … oooh, never mind.
Anyway, Hallmark has been contacted with the hope that they will make a series of Men’s History Month” cards, which will help the rest of us in understanding just what it is about. Hallmark is of course looking to sports, football, baseball, men’s basketball, golf — although Tiger Woods is rumored to have declined in solidarity with Michelle Wie.
It is expected that Men’s History Month will celebrate those few men who, against all odds, have struggled to overcome Affirmative Action and have been able to rise to CEO, CFO, President, Vice President, Congressman, Senator, Governor, Mayor, Judge, Quarterback, and Racetrack Tout. “Affirmative Action” will be the whipping boy of the month, although sophisticates will strive to be sure that women think that Affirmative Actioin refers to giving an unfair advantage to racial minorities and that racial minorities are sure that Affirmative Action refers to giving women the unfair advantage.
The motto for Men’s History Month will be “Since we can’t have babies, we get to have everything else.”
So here’s your Men’s History Month, Jerry.
Lovingly,
Sybil